I've come to a thoughtful conclusion today. Instead of jealousy and anger, I became to feel pity. Why? Let's see why.
You are rich but you think you're poor because you are never satisfied
with current condition. I am poor but I think I am rich because I know
what it feels like to be poor.
I used to have constant and
violent fights with my mother but I follow what she says and loves her
way too much . You never have fights with your mother, in fact, she's a
great mother but you hide things from her even when you love her.
I look calm and strong but I am weak and panic-y. You are very outspoken but you are calm in handling problems.
But what I pity the most is..... I gave my love and have that
taken away from me twice, but at least I've experienced and understood
love. I gave my best. You think you know love because you've had many
relationships, preach about it, told someone off from forbidden "love"
but you engaged in one of those forbidden "love." You've experienced
love but clearly you do not understand love.
Why did I quote "love" because pure love is never forbidden. Those that
are forbidden are lust not love. As God loves us, it is not forbidden
it's pure. If you understand love, then you wouldn't have the guts to
act on this forbidden lust and prepare yourself to take the
consequences. Even when you have to end it quickly, you won't be able
to enjoy one bit of this forbidden lust. You won't even dare to see
your significant other get hurt or has a drop of tear in her eyes
because of your wrongdoings. You believe it is unfair to end it with
her now, but still act unjustly towards your significant other not
being able to promise not to take further actions. You couldn't even do
that.
You hated a leader before because he had engaged in this lust. You were
disgusted by his actions. O what hipocricy. The same goes for
her. She's older than me but she hasn't understand one bit of what it
feels like to really be a girl. As she's blown away by words and
presence, she didn't realize this was just temporary and it is
impossible to continue a lust that is wrong in the first place. She
didn't respect me enough to put a stop at all this when she knows it's
killing me. I respect her, I give her time. I didn't blow up at her,
when actually I could and in fact, have the right to.I never said she's
never sad by all this, she probably is but that's the consequences she
has to take for acting upon it. For saying things that will trigger
more wrongdoings. As a younger female, I myself, would not act upon
this kind of lust because I understand love. Because even a thought of
another person other than my significant other put me in a guilty
state. I wouldn't dare to watch him hurt or cry because of me. I
wouldn't want him to be ashamed.
O what pity, to not understand love. Out of all people, I've
never expected this to be you. However darling, since we are so
different we meant to be together. We complement each other too
perfect. You asked for a reason, I just gave you a whole bunch. Just
some that I can think of at the moment but there are many more. No
matter what, I'll fight for it because we are just meant to be. I pity
the both of you because till now they haven't understand love. My
feelings are numb just like when I cut my flesh I couldn't feel
anything anymore because my feelings were already really painful that
the pain in my body is gone. Just like that, I can not feel anything
anymore but pity. Hurry back darling, so we can complement each other
once more and I'll stop this pity.
Posted at 01:14 am by EveryNewDay
