what a battle I had last night. A battle I have to fight for 3 months. Every night it's going to be sleepless and painful. The scar in my skin will fade, but the scar in my heart stays. Sure thing, forgiving is easy especially when you have overflowing joy and relief but forgetting is a different story. You always hear these things happen, but when it happens to you somehow you're denying it. Every dream I had is the same thing. About him, him, and him and I have to wake up every hour! Also the painful body organs! Can somebody see this? I'm slowly eating myself alive! What pity. I thought when I've done something wrong I should correct it right, regardless of the consequences I have to take. It's my responsibility. Oh God, help me through the battling nights. Help me through work, school, family, myself, boyfriend. Help me through all these for I want to be the best for every one. That eventually every one will see the true, shining me! Even before I know God, I knew myself well. But as far as I'm concerned, it's a little different now. I just re-discover myself again. I've done something wrong. I haven't been me. When I fully recovered to being myself, please take me back.